Why You're Always Hurting.

I woke up this morning at 4am with but a singular thought in my mind: "I need to write a new article". So I did.

Your posture is horrible.
I am talking to every man, woman, and child that spends time behind a desk, watching TV, traveling on airplanes, taking taxis, pushing shopping carts, and 'running'. You let you shoulders slump forward and you spine round, you let your feet turn out when you walk, and you never stretch your hips. Your muscles are lethargic and have stopped working for you. Probably becuase they don't respect you anymore.
Gone are the days when you could go out for a 30 yard pass without being winded or having some mysterious low back pain, and unless you stop what you're doing right now and fix yourself, you'll never get them back.

The thing I want to focus on right now is the hip flexor complex. Why yours sucks, and what you need to do to make it better.
First of all, a quiz.

1) Does your low back hurt?
Y N
2) Do you ever feel your hips 'pop' or crack?
Y N
3)Is running extremely difficult for you?
Y N
4) Do your knees ever bother you when you're going up or down stairs?
Y N

If you answered yes to 2 or more of these, I can almost guarantee that there is a muscular problem with your hip flexors. This is the muscle that you use to bring your knee to your chest. Since I know you're sitting right now, grab the highest point on one of your thighs with your palm facing down, your fingers on the outside of your leg, and your thumb on the inside. Now lift your leg off the floor. That's the group of muscles we're talking about.

One of the many muscles responsible for the movement you just did is called the iliopsoas, but since you don't care what it's called, and just want to feel and move better, you can call it Tom if you like. I don't care.
Tom is kinda neat, because he attaches to the front of your pelvis, (i.e. the place you just felt) and goes from the front of your body to the back, and attaches to the first five spine joints of your spine. Here's how that looks.

So, it's unique placement in your body has two major effects. First of all, when it gets tight it pulls on your low back, which is why roughly 80% of people in the US at some point complain of low back pain. Ta Da! If your muscles worked, you would never need surgery!

Secondly, by being seated all the time, and when you are walking, not carrying yourself with good posture, you let that muscle go for a long time without lengthening.  If Tom was a moderately handsome guy that had been hanging out with you for a while, taking you to movies, and treating you like a lady, this is akin to telling him that you don't want to ruin your 'friendship', and that's why you wont date him. So, Tom extracts his revenge on you by making everything hurt.

Ready for the good part?
Find a foam roller ($25), a lacrosse ball/baseball ($5-12), or a pipe (Included with every purchase of Clue...).

Lay on your stomach, find those muscles that you found earlier, and put the instrument of torment underneath them, essentially so it's pressing on those muscles. Now roll around on that muscle until you find a spot that really hurts. Now stay there for a while. 20 seconds on each painful spot. You should roll from the top of your hip bone to 3/4ths of the way down your thigh. Don't forget to go side to side either. You never know how much fun you're missing out on if you don't roll correctly.

Just a thought... If you're doing the aforementioned activity, and it does not feel like Voldemort himself is destroying the inter workings of your hips and stomach with his wand of pain, you're not doing it right.

Done with that? Good.

Now, get up and stretch. Stand between two tables, chairs, large dogs or children, (something that you can use to hold yourself up.) and spread your legs apart, front to back. Your front leg should be on the heel, your back leg on the toe. Continue to go deeper until you feel a good stretch. Now hold for 30 seconds.

 Switch legs.
Do it again
And again.

Now that you've stretched both sides 3 times, it's time for a little activation, because not only are you tight, you're also weak. Fix it.

Stand up, put your foot on a chair or stool so that your thigh is almost parallel with the ground. If you look anything like a triumphant action hero, you're doing it right. (Hands on hips for added emphasis) Now, pick your foot up off the chair, hold it for 3 seconds in the air, and put it back down. The range of motion for this movement should be between 2 and 5 inches. It's very small. Do that 20 times each leg. Then do it again.

I've had clients feel almost 100% better after doing this for only a week. But just like anything else, it doesn't work if you don't do it. Also, good news. If you're in the Scottsdale area, and you're have some pain like this that doesn't subside after a week of stretching, or you're just afraid to do it yourself, I'm currently accepting new clients.

Be good.

Have Back Pain? Thinking About Getting Some?

For those of you who are among the 100% of Americans (false statistic) with some sort of low back pain, sciatica, hip tension, office job, or no real flexibility regimen, you should keep reading. Not only that, but you should bookmark this page, take a screenshot and save it as your computer background, suggest it to your friends and family, and print out 1000 copies at kinkos and leave them at restaurants as a tip. Servers love that kind of thing.

USATODAY says that 8 out of 10 Americans will deal with some sort of back pain in their lifetime. (source) Due to this 80% statistic, Americans pay out almost 25 BILLION dollars every year for medical expenses and drugs to help alleviate the pain. Another 25 billion is spent on worker compensation for time lost due to surgery and/or time out of work. I know time off is great, but it gets hard to enjoy even incredible quality programing like "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" when you've seen the episode 17 times already and your recliner is covered in cheez-it crumbs. Not to mention that your whole family is really not impressed with your "my back hurts, and therefore I can't take out the trash/bring you to cheer practice/stop drinking heavily"

If only you had heard the phrase "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure" sooner! If only you had this blog as your home page! If only you had asked that cheerleader to prom back in '81! Well, too bad, you didn't, and now look where your life has taken you.

But, I'm here to tell you that if you have not had your lifetime dose of recommended back pain, if you're here to learn from the mistakes of others and accept my perfect guiding wisdom with a smile, than I will gladly impart upon you dear readers, the tricks, nay, the skills that it takes to save yourself a lifetime of pain, disappointment and two and a half men reruns.

The two biggest muscular issues that I see that deal with low back pain are tight hip flexors, and a tight glute complex. The hip flexors are an interesting muscle group because they tie in at your back, to your thoracic spine, and then attach at the front of your body at the pelvis. So stretching, strengthening, or otherwise thinking about these muscles is not something that the average gym rat does, let alone the non-fitness minded person. They don't even have a machine at the gym that targets these elusive creatures! (But they do have 97 machines for working the small head of your biceps).

If you've ever experienced a pinching or tightness in the front of your hip, if you've ever felt your hip joint "pop" or "crack" of if you find yourself sitting for a long period of time during the day, this is for you. Take 30 seconds on each side, and lean into the stretch without your front knee going too far over your toe. Leg warmers will DEFINITELY help the effectiveness of this one. You don't need to extend your arms over your head like shown here, simply at your side or on your hips would be just fine. 3x a day, in between long lethargic periods, or while at your desk. Or on top of your desk. Especially if you've got leg warmers.

The second problematic area is the glute complex. This amalgamation of different muscles can get tight for various reasons; swinging a golf club, standing with most of the weight on one foot, getting out of your car wrong etc. Mine sometimes even tighten up spontaneously when I say the word 'Jumanji'. So, there's just not telling what kind of harm you've been doing to your body when your perform your pre-shower ritual of standing on one foot, repeating all the lyrics to Kid Rock's "Bawitaba" and cleaning your ears.

Good news though. Here's how you prevent this from causing problems.
Lay on the ground with your knees up and your feet on the ground close to your butt. Take your right leg and put your right ankle over your left knee. Take both hands and grab your left knee now, and pull it in towards your chest. You should start feeling a good stretch in the butt region. 30 seconds on each side, then switch.

Do both of these a few times per day for 30 seconds. If you don't, you'll most likely be walking around one day, thinking to yourself "wow, I'm too awesome for stretching" when all of the sudden, your legs will both fall off, and you'll need massive reconstructive surgery, and end up getting metal rods realigning your spine and have an ultra sweet scar on your back. So I guess at the end of the day it wouldn't even be that bad.

Craft a Glorious Behind.

When I talk to a lot of women, and ask them about what they would specifically like to change about their bodies, most of the time it revolves around three problem areas; butts, guts, and legs. Here's the bad news about that. Fat stores in genetically predetermined places. If you're super unhappy with your pick in the genetic lottery, blame your parents. I mean, they take the blame for everything else in life, from the bad attitude and mohawk you were rocking in 9th grade, to your career as a copy paper salesman and your 1992 Ford Taurus. Just blame it all on mom and dad, and move on. Easy enough. The other piece of bad news for the ladies is that it's not only genetics that play into it. A big part is also gender determined. So ladies, that problem will never go away, your fat will always go right back to those hips and thighs. Sad face!

Ready for some good news! Smiley face! You're lucky because the hips and thighs have some of the largest and most powerful muscles in the body. They're your prime movers, and some of the stars include your gluteus maximus, your semimembranosus (hamstrings), and quadriceps femoris.

And even though by and large spot reduction is not possible, there are some ways of pulling fat from specific areas. Yes, this is hearsay in many fitness communities and secret health blog societies, but I'm here to educate you dear reader, even though I may burn on the same fires that consumed the shake weight and the thigh master. One of the main reasons that stubborn fat sticks around in certain areas is because of A) twinkies and B) lack of blood flow to the area.

Increase blood flow to the area, and you'll increase the rate of fat reduction from that spot.

That's all well and good, but how is it done? Well, if you're really interested in reading a lot about it, Dr. Lonnie Lowry has a great article about it here. If you want the short version and dislike the thought of being redirected to a site that features pictures of shirtless heavily muscled men lifting cars and phrases like myo-facial release, read on.

There are two keys to increasing blood flow. The first is warming the area. This can be done through bikram yoga, running/leg exercises, or something tight like compression shorts. It doesn't need to be tight to the point of cutting off circulation, and god forbid that it's as tight as Chazz (not for the easily offended or people who are not tight).

The second key to increasing blood flow is just working the muscle, causing vaso-dialation within the area you're working and causing your body to send blood and nutrients there to heal the muscles that you're ruthlessly tearing apart with your wicked wall sits and grueling goblet squats.

Boom, so that's it. Easy. An afterthought: If you continue to eat like garbage, or eat garbage itself, you will not lose fat. You will gain it. Then you will be mad at me for lying to you, when in actuality, I did not lie to you. I'm on your team here. So much so that I'm going to include a sweet workout for you to try at home today to build a beautiful bottom on your own. That's right! Plus it's only 2 easy payments of 19.95! Pay me later, it's ok.

Lunges.

Middle Position

Start/End Position

These are a great bang for your buck exercise. Whether you step out, or step back,or do them in place, DO THEM. Start with 10 if it's your first time. Make sure that you form a 90 degree angle with your front knee, and with your back knee. If you're getting any knee pain, stop what you're doing, go find a mirror and reevaluate your position. Or call me, I have magic hands, and not the magic hands that cost a quarter at seedy motels.

1-leg Hip Bridge
Lay on your back on a mat, bring your feet up and plant them near your butt, then extend your right leg out, so that it's at the same angle as your left thigh. Then, squeezing your butt and abs, lift your hips off the ground so that you're on your shoulders and right foot. Grunt and repeat.

The challenge for you today, is do 100 lunges on both of your legs, then 100 hip bridges on both legs. Do them all at once, in two sessions, 10 at a time as soon as your boss isn't looking, whatever. Just get them done. If you already worked out or have yet to do so, great! Consider it bonus points. Or make up work, depending on what you did this weekend. My lovely fiance has a rule with her students. The punishment for not doing the work, is doing the work.

Get it done.