Showing posts with label rebecca black. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rebecca black. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

The Food Pyramid Hates You

This is the food pyramid. For those of you that grew up under a rock, this is the food guide that we've learned about since grade school showing us how to eat correctly. That's great! The only tiny little bad thing about it, is that it's not designed with your actual dietary needs in mind.
Let's take a step back to the dark roots of the food pyramid for a second though.

It was first invented by, you guessed it, the Egyptians in early 4000 BC. It was made to be a device to trick their slaves into eating terrible things. Roughly translated, this pyramid says, from bottom to top:
'Dirts'
'Orange peels'
'Flat bread'
'Crocodile'
'Meat water'
'Insects'


So, as you can see, this is clearly not a correct macro nutrient ratio, especially for growing slaves that have to build giant monuments. After Ramses II (Also known as Ramses the Wicked) died, his twin brother Ramses II (also known as Ramses the Nutritionist) took power, and the food pyramid was done away with.

At certain times during history, it has been seen to rear it's ugly head, specifically during the middle ages (See Black Plague), World War II, and Harry Potter.

After that, it had it's most recent appearance in Denmark, and then was picked up in 1992 by the USDA. The United States Department of Agriculture. This is problematic on two levels. First of all, I don't need the Government telling me how to eat. They can't be trusted. (Soylent Green anyone?) And secondly, it would seem as if the USDA has a vested interest in getting us to eat certain kinds of food based on what was best for the farmers and ranchers, and not on dietary constraints. That might not be true, but it's definitely a conspiracy theory you should be aware of.

On top of that, science has shown us that a diet high in cereal grains is not a healthy way to go. If you eat somewhere in the middle of your 6-11 servings of carbs, even  with a healthy choice like whole grain bread, you're still looking at 120 cal per slice x 8 servings or 960 calories of pure carbohydrates. This might be ok if you're an elite athlete training 4hours per day, but it certainly is not alright for your average cubicle hero.

Science has come a long way from where it has been. We're almost at the end of the line with Low or No Fat diets, and we've since switched to demonizing carbs and making them the ones responsible for obesity in America, diabetes, and Rebecca Black's rise to stardom.

However, this still has yet to be reflected in society's general eating habits. Aside from the diet books and fitness magazines, there is very little change in what the FDA and the government recommends you eat daily. What change there is, is reflected in portion size, and not necessarily makeup of meals. A step in the right direction, but it doesn't cut it.

Do we need government backing to eat well? No. If the government did tell us how to eat, would we do it? Probably not. Are we as a society lazy and weak willed? Yes. Am I undeniably handsome? Absolutely.

If you can, or if you care, try to stick to a diet that's 40-45% protein 35-50% carbs, and 10-20% fats. The 50% carbs doesn't mean ice cream and wonder bread though. Stick with low amounts of cereal grains, and high amounts of veggies and legumes,


And now for two enormous bonus tips for the people that have read this far:
1) I've heard it called the "green faces" diet. It's easy. You can/should eat it if it's green and grows, or if it had a face at some point. This relegates you to eating a lot of lean meats and protein, and vegetables. Perfect. Don't eat it if it once had a face, but now is green. That's bad.
Also, eggs count.

2) 100 grams to freedom. If you're trying to cut down on weight, just restrict your carbohydrate intake to 100 grams per day. The idea is that you, being smart and efficient, will only eat the good carbs, and cut out the bad, but offers the insurance policy that even if you do eat poorly, you can only eat a small amount of bad stuff.

Try #2, let me know how soon you can see your abs.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Top 10 Reasons to Start Working Out Today

10. It's never too late to start. - This can mean a variety of things. It could mean, it's not too late in the year to get your summer six pack, it's not too late in your life to finally be able to touch your toes, it's not too late to call and cancel the Domino's XL super-heart-destroyer that you have being delivered to your house.

9. Everyone wants you too! - Seriously. Not only do I want you to start working out, but the rest of society is pulling for you too. So jump on that bandwagon and head to the gym. You'll not only increase your energy levels, metabolism, and quality of life, but you'll have lethargy at night so you can hang out with your kids, be a better partner and lover, be better at your sport or other activity and if none of those get you, (which they should), the fact that your medical bills as someone overweight (not even obese) are 37.7% higher than that of someone with an 'average' build, costing the US and extra 93billion dollars more. USATODAY.com says:
"Overweight is defined as roughly 10 to 30 pounds over a healthy weight; obesity is 30 or more pounds over. People who weigh too much are at an increased risk of heart disease, diabetes, many types of cancers and other illnesses."

8. Did I mention you'll feel better? - Come on, what's not to like about that? When was the last time you rolled out of bed happy and ready for the day? Most of the people I talk to equate waking up in the morning with getting a full body skin graft, then getting hit by a F150. When you start working out, you'll get more REM sleep, and wake up feeling rested, content, and dare I say...powerful? The best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup? Hardly. The best part of waking up is pissing excellence and using your new mind powers to dress yourself.

7. There are a lot of hilarious people at the gym. - This one might not have been one you would expect to find, but it's true. Some of my greatest joy comes from watching the goofball in the sunglasses alternate between doing bosu ball dumbbell curls with the pink 7lbs, and punching the chair. Let's not forget to tip our hats to Treadmill bunnies, The washed up meatheads with the jeans on, Janice the cougar, the dusters, the overly tattooed guy, the crossfit hero with the goofy toe shoes, and the lady who just can't get enough zumba.

6. Make new friends. - Yep, this is a kinda dumb point. Most of you don't want new friends, I understand that. But just for the sake of having enough points, I promise that if you start working out, I will officially consider you my friend. You are welcome. Also, there's not a lot better than having someone else to laugh with about Dusty McTattooerson dropping 50lbs on his iPhone.

5. Two words: Zombie Apocalypse. - Listen pal, if you can't jump out of your easy chair and run to your nearest mall in just under 12 minutes, let's face it. You're gonna be undead too. And neither me nor my surly band of misfits are going to extend you any quarter just because we've seen you at the gym before.standing in the back of the step class and hitting on the soccer moms.

4. Unreal health benefits. - Aside from the aforementioned mood improvement, you'll also combat a lot of chronic diseases, says mayoclinic.com. Osteoporosis, type II diabetes, heart disease are just a few of the many that keeping obesity at bay will help prevent. Stronger muscles means less falling when you're older, and stronger bones means that when you do fall and smash through the coffee table, you'll probably just pull a Chris Farley and be able to walk it off.

3. Prove that you can. - When was the last time you actually challenged yourself? Go on, get up and out of your chair and hit the weights. Sissy.

2. Get that beach body you want. - For most of us, we've all but given up on the prospect of looking good in a swim suit. We've exchanged that dream for the dream of cleaning up after children, being a good entertainer, having monogrammed napkins, and having our free time filled with reading smutty literature in our underwear while eating peanut butter out of the jar. Go on, admit it. You haven't done something for yourself in a long time. You deserve it! And it will give you a longer time on this earth to pursue your habits that due include Twinkies and jersey shore.

1. And the number one reason to start working out today? There are a lot of very handsome trainers at the gym. - Pretty self explanatory, and I bet if you never complained about doing squats or planks and brought them cookies, they would even show you their six pack. Just a guess though.




Get some.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Fitness for Dummies

A lot of times, people assume that it's easy to get or stay in shape. That it comes naturally to people, or that some people are genetically inclined to have their "beach body" all year round. And while there are instances where this can be true, I submit that for the average Joe, the weekend warrior, the desk bound hiking enthusiast, the guy with low back problems, the lady with bad knees, fitness is anything but easy. It's an all out war, won not in a day, a week, or a year, but over time.
This is sub-optimal in our culture that demands results, and demands them now. We want the newest iPhone with the fastest network so we can watch Rebecca Black's latest superhit, the magic pill that strips the weight off and makes us look like a sexy cross between David Beckham and Megan Fox, cliffs notes versions of Twilight...The list goes on and on. I've never had a client tell me that they were ready to work through injury, puking, and frustration for months on end, we want our results now.
So what's a person to do?
Well, if you're among the 63.1% of overweight or obese people in America, the answer is easy. And hard. Well, mostly hard.
If I can instill two values in any given client, I can guarantee success. And I could choose between an average joe with these two values and a professional athlete without, I would take the Joe any day of the week.
Dedication.
Mental-toughness.
There it is, easy.
These two are the x-factor in anyone who is successful in their endeavors. Set your mind to something, and get after it. And keep getting after it. And when it sucks, stay after it. And while it may not seem like much to have those potato chips at your work potluck, and it seems like hell to have to do those last 5 pushups, these are the little battles with which your war is won.

So, if you're still with me at this point, try an experiment tonight.
Get home, find a nice wall in your house, and do a wall-sit

It should look something like this.
Time yourself, and see how long you can hold this position for. Record your time and forget about it. Come back tomorrow, or subscribe to see part II of this article, and go from there.









GET AFTER IT.